Every happy family is the symbol of God’s abundant love on humankind, and a reminder of the institution of marriage which God initiated through the union of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. It is in the family that God’s blessings will be given, and graces distributed.
The Importance of union between a man and a woman
‘’So God created humankindin his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.’’
In Genesis 1:27, we see the same sentence repeated twice. The importance of the topic that is being discussed is being reinforced. Humankind-both male and female, has the image of God. In His image He created ‘them’.
Therefore, when a man or a woman is alone, we must understand that there is something lacking in them. Humankind will be perfected only when a man and a woman comes together. This is why God has taken a woman out of a man.
Family is the image of God. As per the Trinitarian perspective, God himself is a family which is why we refer to Him as Father-Son. Keeping this concept in mind, can you imagine what happens when 2 males or 2 females live together? Each person will miss their Godly counterpart, thus creating a huge void within them. This is perversion, and not the image of God.
Do Priests lack something when they are alone?
Quite naturally, we wonder if a priest lacks something when he is alone. Remember, every man, when he stands alone, lacks something. Just like a man is united to a woman, a priest is united to the creator Himself. By being united with the creator, he is part of the creator. There is nothing missing anymore.
Even those who have chosen to lead a single life must be united to Christ. Failing to do so will put them in direct view of the devil. We must either be united to our counterpart, or God Himself. Only then will we reflect the image of God
Now, let us go back to what God says in Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
If you are married by sacrament, with full conviction, and full consent, whether you like it or not, the person who you are married to is ‘the suitable life partner’ God has chosen for you. When you initially started family life, you expected your life partner to be the most suitable life partner you could imagine. You had dreams and desires, and they were met with conviction in the initial days of your marriage. Soon, discrepancies start arising, and a point comes in your life when you start thinking, “is this the right person I was supposed to be married to”?
Many people express their doubt at this juncture, wondering “Have I married the wrong person”?My dear brother and sisters, if everything went well in the initial days of marriage, and you have united at the altar, with the blessing of the priest, and the entire community, it is most definitely the will of God. You have very well married the person most suitable for you; may not be from your viewpoint, but definitely from God’s perspective.
Story of Jacob and Rachel
Jacob fell in love with Rachel. We all know that Rachel had an elder sister named Leah who was unmarried. During those days, it was customary for the elder ones to be married off before searching for life partners for the younger siblings. Jacob wanted to marry Rachel when her elder sister Leah was still without a suitor. On the wedding day, Jacob was very drunk and not in his right senses.
Naturally, Jacob assumed that he was getting married to Rachel, the love of his life. The bride was fully covered from head to toe, and adorned with ornaments. Jacob could not see the face of his bride on the wedding day.
His father-in-law did something unheard of during those times, and married Leah off to Jacob without his knowledge. Jacob came to know about this deception only on the next day when he came out of his drunken stupor. God decides who is best for you.
God decides who is best for us
When we get married, we are happy and give consent in the church with our own free will. We are joyous and content during the first few months of our lives, moderately happy during the subsequent months, beget children, face many setbacks, and live our life in misery for the rest of our lives. After several years, we complain. ”This is not the one whom I wanted to marry.”
What does this mean?
It means that we are all marrying two people at the same time. The real version of the person we married, and the person whom we dreamt that he/she would be. You have to decide to divorce your imaginary partner today itself, and accept the wife who is physically in front of you. Only then will your family life be peaceful. Throw away what is imaginary, and accept the real person God has given you.
The Perfect Life Partner in God’s Eyes
Job 2:9-Then his wife said to him, “Do you still persist in your integrity? Curse[a] God and die.”
Who is the perfect life partner in your eyes?
In the book of Job, God permitted satan to attack Job. He attacked everything that Job had. He took away all his children, his cattle, his property, and all his worldly possessions.
But God did not take away Job’s nagging wife. Isn’t that injustice? His whole body was ailing and he was suffering terribly. If we were in Job’s place, we would have prayed only for one thing-To take away ‘the wife’ because we want a peaceful life even if we are suffering.
It’s very interesting to note that God allowed satan to take away everything that Job had, except his wife. She went on nagging him without mercy throughout the day, persistently criticizing him, and provoking him to do evil. But Job persisted in his integrity and overcame all these temptations. She was a suitable life partner for Job.
When we read the scriptures, we wonder how she can be a suitable life partner for Job. But, Job’s holiness comes out in the presence of his nagging wife. The more she nags, the more he persists!
My dear brothers and sisters, this is how God gives us suitable life partners. Sometimes, the life partners that God grants us are meant to test our holiness and patience.
God’s ways are different from ours
Judges 3:1-Now these are the nations that the Lord left to test all those in Israel who had no experience of war in Canaan.
When God destroyed the enemies of Canaanites, He did not destroy some nations. These nations were left for the Israelites to gain experience for warfare at short notice. God understood that they needed to face enemies to gain experience in fighting.
Sometimes, you need to be trained and tested in order to understand how to fight against the evil spirit, ward off temptations, and overcome evil tendencies on earth. There is always someone to oppose the accepted rules. An environment without opposition creates anarchy.
Therefore, God always places a devil’s advocate in every family, or every community, so that you are ready to face a war anytime on earth. If you believe that you are so good, God gives you a life partner that is suitable for you, just as Job was given a suitable life partner that proclaimed his Godliness in front of the world.
John 17:7- “Now they know that everything you have given me is from you”
My dear believers in Christ, maybe your life partner is good for nothing, broken, rusted and useless in your eyes. But remember that he/she is a gift from God. We judge them based on their weaknesses and inabilities. Accept them as they are, and treat them as precious and holy-a gift from God. It is your duty to protect your life partner. Through your prayers, you can change them if you find that life is tough and challenging with them.
Let us be grateful for the gift of our life partners, and pray to God to help divorce our imaginary partners from our minds, and live with the ones which God deemed fit for us. We are here not to please our partners, but to please God.
Maybe you are living with a Judas who would betray you for money, possessions and beauty, or with a Michal who humiliates you in public. Let us be grateful to God and help accept him or her with unconditional love.