The Five Stages of Tragedy: A Journey of Faith

We all go through tragedies at certain points in our lives. Such circumstances require us to hold on to God so that we may emerge stronger in faith, trusting that our Heavenly Father is in control.

When tragedy strikes, most of us go through five stages of emotional and spiritual experience. Some people may go through only three or four stages, while others may struggle for longer, remaining stuck in certain stages indefinitely.

Denial

According to experts, the first reaction to tragedy is often denial—shock or refusal to believe what has happened. When a doctor delivers a serious diagnosis, for instance, the initial response is often disbelief. Denial is a very common emotion, but most people eventually move on to the next stage.

Anger

Though not everyone experiences anger, it is common in times of suffering. When tragedy strikes, people often look for someone to blame. This anger can even be directed at God: “Why did He do this? Why did He take my husband? Why did He allow this illness?” Such questions can trouble our hearts and minds.

Bargaining

After venting their frustrations and realizing that anger leads nowhere, some people begin to bargain. They try to regain control over their circumstances, especially when facing life-or-death situations. Unfortunately, some remain in anger indefinitely, unable to move forward.

History provides an example of this in the faith crisis that struck Europe during the 50 years spanning the First and Second World Wars. Christianity was deeply affected. Millions lost their lives, and countless others faced sickness, poverty, and immense suffering. This shattered many people’s faith, leading them to question God’s power: If God is in control, why do such tragedies happen? Overwhelmed by anger, many turned away from faith and rejected spirituality altogether.

During that time, some even turned to Satan worship and practices forbidden by God. Others, however, felt guilt and moved beyond anger, entering the stage of bargaining.

Many who suffer seek healing in retreat centers, hoping for a miracle. Others turn to harmful practices like witchcraft or black magic, desperate for a cure. They bargain with God, saying, “Lord, if You heal me, I will serve You for the rest of my life.”

Some believe a miracle is imminent. But if healing does not come in the way they expect, they fall into the fourth stage—depression.

Depression

Helpless, hopeless, and deeply disappointed, people in this stage struggle to escape from their sorrow. Depression drains joy and purpose from life, leaving them uninterested in everything. Many people, rather than seeking healing, dwell in their negative emotions and experiences, making depression a difficult cycle to break.

However, those with support, resilience, and faith move forward to the fifth stage—acceptance.

Acceptance

A person of faith ultimately reaches a moment of surrender: “Yes, this is God’s plan. This has happened, and I cannot keep crying about it. I must continue with my life.”

When we surrender our pain into God’s hands, miracles, healing, and deliverance take place.

A person with deep trust in God can move directly from denial to acceptance, skipping the stages of anger, bargaining, and depression. Such faith spares them from unnecessary suffering.

Many devout believers immediately accept tragedy without bitterness, knowing that eternal life awaits. They hold on to the promise of salvation and find peace in the hope of reunion with God. Some even go so far as to thank God for their suffering, offering their pain as a sacrifice.

“He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:17)

Faith in the Midst of Tragedy

To those struggling through these five stages, Jesus says:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in Me.” (John 14:1)

Many people remain in anger their whole lives because they do not believe in God.

Consider the story of a man whose son was diagnosed with cancer. The father was not a believer, but the doctors told him that only a miracle could save his child. Desperate, he took his son to a retreat center, hoping for healing.

However, God was calling this man to something greater—repentance. The priest encouraged him to go to confession, explaining that the healing of his son depended on his conversion. Yet, the man was not concerned with his own sins. He refused to repent or change his life; he only wanted his son to be healed.

But God calls us to surrender, not to bargain. The man’s refusal to change ultimately led him to remain in anger. When his son passed away, he began to hate God. To this day, his family continues to pray for his transformation.

God often uses suffering as an instrument for the good of our souls. True surrender comes when we can say, “Even if my son is taken away, I believe he is in the safest hands. I trust God and am ready to accept His will.”

Are you willing to pray like that?

Hope Beyond Suffering

Sooner or later, we all face tragedies in life—losing loved ones, enduring unexpected trials, and confronting sorrow. But if we truly want to rise above our suffering, we must believe in God and trust in Jesus.

We do not always understand how God works in the supernatural realm, but we hold on to His promises. Scripture teaches us that those who believe in Him will live forever. The souls of the departed are alive in God’s presence, and we can ask for their intercession.

Jesus reminds us again and again not to let our hearts remain troubled.

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:10)

Some people experience sorrow over their sins and turn to repentance, seeking the grace of confession. Others, however, remain trapped in bitterness, refusing to surrender to God. This worldly sorrow leads to further despair, resentment, and spiritual isolation.

There are even some who hide behind their sorrow, refusing to move forward. But the Lord does not desire this for us. Our loved ones, now in God’s presence, do not grieve as we do. They are in the safest and holiest of places.

The Dangers of Dwelling in Sorrow

Sorrow that leads to depression can drive people toward sin, bringing no benefit to their souls. The Lord desires that we trust Him in all circumstances, even in our suffering.

Consider Job, who lost everything—his family, his health, his possessions. Yet, despite his suffering, he remained steadfast in faith. Because he never turned away from God, the Lord restored and blessed him even more abundantly than before.

Like Job, let us pray:

“Lord, thank You for what is happening in my life. Even in tragedies, crises, and struggles, I accept them from Your hand. You never make mistakes. Your plans will never fail. Therefore, Lord, whatever You give—even if it is the cross—I totally accept it.”

Total acceptance of God’s will is the beginning of miracles.

“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13)

When death comes, we do not grieve without hope. We believe in eternal life and the promise that one day, we will all be together again with our Lord, Jesus Christ.