Let’s think about how to address unhealthy relationships. For many of us today, who are unable to recognize unhealthy relationships, believe that everything is acceptable as long as we face no judgment? Nonetheless, the word of God judges us.

John 12:48 – The one who rejects me and does not receive my word has a judge, on the last day the word that I have spoken will serve as judge.

Anyone who claims they don’t wish to be judged actually means they don’t want the word of God. We are rejecting the judge. For those who practice Christianity, the word of God serves as our judge. As priests, we ought not to judge others; however, we can and must declare the word that judges us all, as my primary duty is to preach the gospel, celebrate the Holy Eucharist, forgive sins, and heal the sick. The word of God is a double-edged sword that cuts into us.

Many types of relationships exist, with marriage being the most significant of them all. Marriage between a man and a woman is legitimate only when performed at the altar; when a priest blesses and unites you in holy matrimony, transforming it into a sacrament through which we obtain the grace of marriage. In a marriage, a husband and wife declare that they fully give their bodies and selves to each other, thereby becoming one.

Many engage in premarital relationships where they share their bodies temporarily for mutual enjoyment, yet remain uncertain about their own feelings. In a sense, a live-in relationship might be viewed as prostitution/adultery since we avoid taking any responsibility. It’s a relationship of compromise rather than a covenant and exploiting the other individual. These relationships lack any holiness.

Married couples initially pledge to devote themselves to their partner, but when they engage in extramarital affairs, they withdraw themselves by violating the covenant before the Almighty God. A sense of guilt or an uncomfortable conscience arises when becoming involved in this kind of relationship.

Complete submission to one another in a marriage is hindered by the sinful pleasures and temptations of the world.

A wife expressed to me that her husband only values her physically and not emotionally. This indicates that the husband was solely focused on her body for his pleasure rather than valuing their moments together. This created a void in her heart. Many of us use our partner as a means to achieve personal satisfaction or pleasure. This violates the marriage covenant, and we must repent. Marriage is a spiritual, emotional, followed by physical bond.

A girl approached me and revealed that she was in love with a boy whom she trusted. Nevertheless, my parents disapproved of this relationship. I believe this boy is a blessing from God, and I have discovered real love with him.

I inquired of the girl how many hours she would talk to the boy in a day, and she answered that they would be on a phone call for many hours daily. She told me that most of their discussions revolved around physical relationships and sexual connotations. During the discussion, she let me know that she had sent her photos to him. I gave him all these photos because I have full confidence in him. I inquired of her why he is fascinated by all these pictures of yours.

When lust takes over, we see the other person piece by piece, but with love, we perceive the other person in their entirety. If the other individual cannot honor our body as a complete entity, it suggests there is an issue. If someone truly loves us, they will safeguard us, honor our identity and sanctity, and regard us as individuals rather than as objects in the marketplace.

12-year-old girl inquired if she could have a boyfriend and wanted to know my thoughts on boyfriends and girlfriends. I informed her that she can have friends that include both boys and girls. Choosing just one among many as your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t healthy, and it can also be very dangerous. We are nurturing lust; every one of us carries both love and lust within. She subsequently mentioned that she currently has a boyfriend and we discuss sacred matters. She mentioned that we walk hand in hand to church and discuss the Bible, so I believe this is a blessing from God. In this era, God will not provide us with the blessing of a boyfriend or girlfriend. God will provide us with a partner in our lives when the moment is appropriate. We ought to have good and holy companions. God will be pleased with us if we have good friends at age 12 and are enjoying life.

If it originates from God, He will assume the responsibility, but if it is our own decision, then God will not be involved in this relationship.

It’s important to remember that any sexual relationship prior to marriage will leave a scar on our life, body, emotions, and personality.

One day, a young husband approached me and began to weep uncontrollably. He told me that when he’s being intimate with his wife, his ex-girlfriend always comes to his mind, and it bothers me.

Matthew 5:28 – But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

One day, a boy approached me and said he has a girlfriend and intends to marry her. He sought to resolve his uncertainty about having a sexual relationship before marriage, as they both understand their desire to marry each other. I told him that if he is destined to be with that girl and if God intends to bless both of them in marriage, then why the rush? Avoid being overly consumed by the passion of the body, exercise patience. Once married, you can dedicate yourself to your wife for a lifetime. If she isn’t the person God has chosen for you, then why risk damaging both of your future married lives? You need to make a choice! In this life, we can’t be completely certain about anything unless we marry first. Then he asks me, “Is it alright to kiss her?” I advised him to embody the purity he would desire in his future partner. Let us preserve the holiness of the body, mind, and spirit.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing. 

The boy and girl have the responsibility to safeguard one another from succumbing to any unholiness, provided there is love between them. Nonetheless, if there is lust for one another, we will rush to engage with each other’s body. We should exercise caution regarding love and lust. Love sees clearly, while lust is blind. Love holds no secrets, whereas lust does. Love is transparent, whereas lust is not. Love won’t cause you embarrassment, but lust will.

A girl approached me and stated that it feels shameful in today’s world to admit that she is a virgin. In college, when I inform my friends that I’m a virgin, they are incredibly surprised and believe there’s something mentally off about me. In our society, holiness has become a source of embarrassment. I told the girl, imagine if on your wedding night your husband reveals that he has preserved his virginity all these years for his wife and is completely devoted to her. I inquired how she would respond upon hearing her husband’s statement; would it bring her honour or embarrassment?

Upon entering family life, we inform our spouse that we have anticipated this day to fully dedicate ourselves to holiness; this demonstrates our honor and respect for them, ensuring they will never feel embarrassed but rather honoured. It’s better to feel embarrassed today in front of your friends than in front of your life partner whom you will always respect and honour.

John 15:13 – No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  

Give up the cravings of the body and maintain the sanctity of the flesh. Holiness is esteemed, and only good human beings can achieve it. We are God’s children, and He has blessed us with unique gifts known as ‘Self-control.’ We can assign names to the connections we share with others. The love we experience in all our relationships can be understood as a unique gift granted to humanity, reflecting the spirit of God within us. Today, many of us have lost our dignity as humans because the spirit of God is absent within us, having desecrated body through unholy relationships.

Some individuals even share inappropriate photos of themselves on social media, eagerly anticipating the number of ‘likes’ and the amount of praise they will get. The greater the number of likes, the more they feel honoured and respected. I knew of someone who made the post and then approached me to justify their actions. I inquired, did anyone correct you, and the response I got was that my parents, siblings, and parish priest did, while everyone else enjoyed my pictures.

Our parents, siblings, and parish priest are the people who care for you. I inquired of the girl if she knew the people who liked her pictures or if they were personally acquainted with her. She responded with ‘no’. This implies they are familiar only with your body and have viewed your images. I informed her that they were attracted only to her body not as a person. The individuals who truly cared about you are those who pointed out your mistakes. However, at times the essence of whoredom can obstruct us, leaving us in darkness.

Hosea 5:4 – Their deeds do not permit them to return to their God. For the spirit of whoredom is within them, and they do not know the Lord. 

When we engage in an unhealthy relationship, the initial action we take is to cease praying, reading the Bible, attending mass, and if we do attend mass, it’s often because of parental pressure; we won’t be fully engaged in the service, or we might be outstanding Christians at mass. These types of relationships we engage in do not come from God.

A woman shared to me, that before marriage, her future husband adored her for her true self and was very content with her, but after a few years of a joyful life with their children, he began to criticize her weight and voiced grievances. He feels embarrassed to take her to parties with him now. He’s no longer interested in living with me and my kids; he’s living separately and is involved with someone else. I said to her, he took advantage of you; he didn’t love you, but only your body.

The reason I’m openly emphasizing these matters is that I recognize some of you may feel disturbed and irritated by this, but it is what God has directed me to share with you, regardless of your feelings, so please listen.

2 Corinthians 7:1 – Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, making holiness perfect in the fear of God.

We might view each other’s bodies as attractive, but this perception will fade over time, and eventually, we will pass away, our bodies becoming sustenance for the worms. Let’s avoid making decisions based on the appearance of our body, which will eventually perish one day.

Let us consider the essence; in every marriage, there’s a connection that is spirit to spirit, emotion to emotion, and body to body. God united Adam and Eve in a divine relationship, and God’s presence transformed this into a spiritual union. Adam, upon seeing Eve, felt a surge of emotion and romance. It is important to keep in mind that every relationship ought to have a spiritual aspect.

1 Peter 1:15-16 – Instead as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct, for it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

The Lord declares, the one who called us is holy; all the girls and boys pay attention: be holy in all your conduct; with your companions.

Hebrew 12:14 – Pursue peace with everyone, and the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

A lot of us leave God due to our lack of holiness. Many are rejecting God and His existence, turning to atheism. Once upon a time, there were individuals who conducted the prayer and worship services, but now they are atheists due to their absence of holiness.

Psalm 119:9 – How can young people keep their way pure? By guarding it according to your word.

2 Timothy 1:9 – who saves us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works but according to his own purpose and grace. This grace was given to us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.

Psalm 139:23-24 – Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. 

Before we begin any relationship, let us seek God’s guidance in understanding whether the person we marry is the right one for us. Am I on the correct path and adhering to your plans?

Philippians 2:5 – Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus.

No one questioned Jesus’ integrity and holiness, not even his enemies, despite Him associating with prostitutes and various women. Even at the time of Jesus’ death, no one doubted his holiness

Ephesians 5:3 – But fornication and impurity of any kind, or greed, must not even be mentioned among you, as is proper among saints.

We must avoid discussing unholiness in our conversations.

Romans 12:1 – I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

Maintaining the sanctity of the body, mind, soul, and virginity might be challenging, yet if it is kept, it serves as a living sacrifice. Renounce the cravings of the flesh; our bodies must be holy and acceptable to God. That alone constitutes a form of spiritual devotion. Daily resisting the body’s temptations is a form of living sacrifice.

Romans 6:22 – But now that you have been freed from sin and enslaved to God, the advantage you get is sanctification. The end is eternal life. 

Let us promise to God that we will maintain a holy relationship.

Transcribed by Durriya Alphonso